And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
