i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
