Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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