ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
