Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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