We're facebook friends in real life
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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