Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
