Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
