Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
