heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
