I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
