I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
