I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
try to milk me bitch
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