I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
