Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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