so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
