What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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