my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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