At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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