The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
