I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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