Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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