Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
