there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
