i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
is wine microwaveable?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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