I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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