thus making me awesome and them whores
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
