We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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