I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
