As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
ttyl tear gas
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
