Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
