You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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