I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
