ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
