im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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