dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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