Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
