Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
