yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
