I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
