i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i out mim tonsoeep
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