Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
