Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
