he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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