the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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