we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Is it because I queefed?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
