dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
