my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
