i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
