Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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